Becoming a More Effective Person

Below is a link to a book that has changed my life. I recommend getting the book and, whenever you feel like you are in need of some fundamental changes in your life (and are committed to expending a great deal of effort!), I recommend cracking it open and giving it a read through.

Remember, in life, the enemy of the "Best" we can be is being "good enough". When we become comfortable in life, that is when we stop improving, when we lose sight of the untapped potential within us. Risk and discomfort are essential in life. They are what stretch us to realize that potential.

The main theme of The Seven Habits is the following: "Private victories precede public victory." That is, before we can achieve victories in the relationships in our lives, we must first find victory within ourselves. Each successive habit provides a foundation upon which the next may be built. Below is a quick breakdown of the 7 habits:

Dependence...
1) Be proactive
2) Begin with the end in mind
3) Put first things first
Independence...
4) Think win/win
5) Seek first to understand, then to be understood
6) Synergize
Interdependence.
7) Sharpen the saw (continuously improve)

The book gives excellent descriptions of the habits, what they mean, and why they are important. The Dependence...Independence...Interdependence in the habit list are placemarkers showing where we end up on the maturity continuum after mastery of the preceding habits.

Dependence is the paradigm of "You". I need you. You can do it. Why don't you love me? What have you ever done for me? I blame you.

Independence is the paradigm of "I". I am self-reliant. I can do it. I am responsible. I can choose.

Interdependence is the paradigm of "We". We are stronger by combining our strengths. We can do it together. We can find a solution that is beneficial for both of us.

These levels of maturity apply to all aspects of our lives. A professor may be independent physically, dependent emotionally, and interdependent intellectually. A blind person may be dependent physically, interdependent emotionally, and dependent intellectually. A person who really needs to take responsibility for his/her own life may be dependent in all three. It's up to us to listen to our own language, observe our own thoughts, and determine where we exist on the maturity continuum in all aspects of our lives: emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual.

That is a quick intro. The book provides far more of the meat that helps us begin undoing the years and years of ineffective scripting that we have undergone. Without further ado...

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
by Dr. Stephen Covey
ISBN-10: 0743269519
ISBN-13: 978-0743269513